Psychosis: My Recovery Journey

I remember the day when I believed I was going to die. I woke up having no idea where I was. Audible voices were telling me that I was in a different world and the people who were in this world wanted to murder me. This was the first time I heard voices coming from somewhere, but I didn't know where or who it was who was speaking to me.

I was unsure where I was; all I knew was that I was far away from home. I started to think about my siblings and my parents. The thought that I would never see them again disturbed me and made me extremely sorrowful. Little did I know that I was in a psychiatric ward and this was just another form of psychosis.

One of the delusions I had was that the support workers in the hospital were disguising themselves as staff but were actually family members of an old friend of mine who I stopped speaking to. The voices confirmed this delusion, informing me that they were going to kill me in an extremely violent way, so I refused to talk to staff.

One day, a staff member came into the room I was sleeping in. I was convinced she was coming to murder me. I had no tears left to cry so I just sat there, waiting. To my surprise, she gently asked me if I wanted to shower. I thought this was an odd way to kill someone. At that moment, I started to question the voices — she didn't want to kill me, she wanted to help me. So I decided to go against what my mind was telling me and take the risk.

The member of staff reassured me that things were going to get better. And they surely did.

The voices still continued threatening me, but I gradually stopped believing them. The more I stopped believing them, the quieter they became. My faith proved hope — I regularly recited the Lord's Prayer when I was at my lowest. It reminded me that I am not alone.

Now I feel so much better. I am still on anti-psychotic medication, and it has been over a year since I was last sectioned. Although I still hear a voice sometimes, it is quieter and infrequent. I have been able to manage with the help of my family and the PATH team.

The most important lesson I learnt is that good things can come out of awful situations. My experience with psychosis has helped build my character and made me want to show the same compassion I received to others who are in need.