Psychosis Is Like a Foreign Country

This summer of 2024 marks five years since the last time I suffered from a psychotic episode. I say this with immense pride because, at one stage, it felt as if my life was slipping into a dreadful cycle: illness, hospital, recovery, repeat.

From nineteen through to twenty-three, I was sectioned three times. I spent a Christmas in hospital and a birthday. I'd estimate that in total I've spent about ten months being treated on various mental health wards.

These periods of illness had profound effects on me. Connecting with others became difficult as my self-esteem waned. I labelled myself 'the guy who'd been sectioned', as if I was tarnished and different from everyone else. I began to feel that psychosis is like a foreign country — if you haven't been there yourself, it's impossible to fully understand and picture.

It's very difficult to convey the reality of psychosis with words. I believed that my mind was being read, that those around me could see my thoughts. I became very paranoid. I believed some people around me were undercover operatives working for a mysterious agency. I thought I was being followed.

Turning things around took time, new medication, a trusted care coordinator, and genuinely wanting to get better. I started volunteering, reconnecting with old friends, and slowly rebuilding my self-worth. I stopped letting my diagnosis define me.

The single biggest shift was learning to accept my illness without being consumed by it. I stopped hiding it but I also stopped letting it be my whole identity.

Today, I'm training to be a mental health nurse — a career I chose precisely because of what I went through. Five years free from psychotic episodes. A life I'm genuinely proud of. If you're in that cycle right now, please know it doesn't have to be forever.