Finding Recovery After Alcohol Addiction

I developed an increasingly chronic alcohol addiction over the course of about five years, but I realise now that I was an alcoholic for over ten years. There were three things that happened in my life which really fuelled the illness. My dad died, my wife developed breast cancer and my daughter developed an eating disorder. I just couldn't handle it.

I'd been drunk in meetings before, so I was definitely a functioning alcoholic. But I didn't consider it alcoholism because I had a job. My problem was right in front of me, but I was being paid — so as far as I was concerned, I didn't need help.

It wasn't my decision to get help. It was my wife and a very good friend who intervened. Lockdown prevented me from going to work, so it was hard to avoid alcohol. My wife sat next to me and said she wasn't moving until I made the call.

Rehab provided a structured daily routine: meditation, group therapy, one-to-one sessions, and evening fellowship meetings. The best things about rehab are the structure of your programme, the supportive community and the compassion and professionalism of the therapists. In a way, the most difficult hurdle is walking through the front door.

I still do guided meditation every morning. I still refer to the DBT handbook and tools like HALT — a relapse prevention check where you ask whether you're feeling Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Rehab wasn't just about four weeks' therapy and 'there you go'. I'm still able to reach out to the therapists now.

I've learned that the opposite of addiction is connection. Recovery isn't a destination — it's something you continue to work at every day. But it is absolutely possible, and that first step of asking for help is the bravest thing you can do.